A moment that changed me: a failed date led to one of the greatest friendships of my life

My romance with Steven quickly fizzled, but I had gained something just as good. It made me realise that in the endless, exhausting pursuit of love I had closed myself off to other kinds of connection

This autumn is my third anniversary with Steven. In October 2023, we matched on Bumble when I was in his home town of Atlanta for a wedding. We met for dinner downtown and even though we’re from different countries, we discovered a mutual love for the British comedy show Stath Lets Flats. It was a done deal.

But Steven isn’t my partner, he’s my friend. And if we’re being teenage about it, I’d probably brand him one of my best, despite living 4,000 miles away. Over the past three years, we’ve visited each other’s homes, holidayed together and met one another’s friends and family. I’ve even had dinner with his ex-wife, whom I also now consider a friend. Steven and I have all the hallmarks of a perfect relationship. We just don’t fancy each other.

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