I’m really hurt that my parents didn’t give me a 40th birthday gift | Ask Annalisa Barbieri

You feel overlooked, but your parents’ disappointing behaviour does not necessarily mean they don’t love you

I turned 40 a few years ago. For my 21st and 30th birthdays I got jewellery from my parents, so when they didn’t ask what I wanted, I assumed they would follow this tradition. But I got nothing. Not even an apology. It later transpired that they thought I was turning 41. But even then to receive nothing is hurtful. They blamed it on old age and said they had been struggling with their health.

I place a lot of importance on gift giving. It isn’t about the value, but it’s nice to feel someone has spent time thinking about you. To get nothing just screamed that they didn’t care.

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